You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
