I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
