Non-Jews are for practice
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
