you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
