So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
