About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
