We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
