I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
