I wish my penis had an off switch
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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