id be glad to
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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