this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
