I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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