it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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