You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
