I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
