It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
