Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
