went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
