Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
