To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
