thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize