Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
