The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
