ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
