singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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