Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
