508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
