So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
