that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
