I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
