there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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