We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
