Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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