real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
