All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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