So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
