Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
