So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
