so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
