I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
