Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
