Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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