I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize