its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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