I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
