wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
