You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's never too late to be topless.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
