This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
