i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
