I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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