If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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