I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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