I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
