I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
