she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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