doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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