Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
