I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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